did you just mansplain that to me?

I'm lucky in a lot of senses in that I don't actually have to put up with tons of overt sexism on a day-to-day basis. I have to deal with EY EY EY EY EY EY BABY EY YOU IM TALKINTAYOU EY while I walk to and from work, but after years of this shit you just learn to blank it out as white noise. (I've never worked out what it is Men Who Yell actually expect me to do. Do they think that hollering EY BAYBEE is some sort of breathtakingly erotic mating call?)

I do, however, have to contend with a more insidious form of sexism all the goddamn time, and that is mansplanation. It's not "explaining while male," as piqued men tend to insist: it's explaining [to someone who probably knows a shitload more than the explainer about the subject but happens to be female]. Mansplainers like to explain things to women who know them already but just need the masculine point of view because their small hysterical brains are incapable of comprehending the situation rationally. Here's the progression:

MALE: Something's wrong with my [car, computer, phone].

FEMALE: Looks like it's [specific issue].

MALE: *totally ignores female* Something's wrong with my [car, computer, phone].

FEMALE: Why don't you check for [specific issue]?

MALE: Something's wrong with my [car, computer, phone]. I'll ask Male Colleague about it.

--time passes--

MALE: Male Colleague totally fixed my [car, computer, phone]! He figured out that it was [specific issue].

FEMALE: That's what I suggested you look at in the first place.

MALE: No, but Male Colleague said it was [specific issue]. You see, [proceeds to explain specific issue in excruciating and generally inaccurate detail].

FEMALE: ...


Doesn't matter how many degrees the woman has. She got da boobies, therefore she is incapable of coming to the same conclusions as a male, and also it's just generous of the male to explain things to her cause, you know, she just isn't going to get it on her own.

Mansplaining is a fact of life. These days I find it risible, and call mansplainers out on their bullshit, but when I was younger I totally found myself questioning and second-guessing things I damn well knew to be accurate simply because some dickweed suggested I didn't know what I was talking about.

For the men: Stop to think before you launch into full-on EXPLAINING THINGS mode. Does the person to whom you are about to explain things possibly already know these things? Could she by chance have studied the field in question? Might she not be asking for your input on this subject at this time?

For the women: As soon as a guy starts mansplaining something to you, lose interest. Check your watch, fish out your phone, talk to your neighbor, talk to the waitress. When he says some variant on "hey I'm talking to you," look at him with a sweet smile and tell him you were waiting for him to stop mansplaining, and that you will be very happy to talk to him when he's finished with that.