privilege

One thing I've learned over my years of being female, human, and existing in the world is that privilege is seldom actually recognized by the privileged.

Example: [heterosexual white middle-class person] complains about [members of group they don't belong to] being "oversensitive" or just "looking for a reason to cry sexism/racism/classism/whateverism."

Until you have been a member of the group discriminated against, you don't get to state what is and is not prejudice against that group. And I'm not even going to touch male privilege here: it's so utterly endemic and ingrained in our culture that pointing it out is like pointing out that water falls from the sky when it is raining.

You see, privilege is something you don't realize you have if you have it. Here are some rather eye-opening studies of the idea of privilege: Unpacking the Knapsack: White Privilege and Unpacking the Knapsack II: Straight Privilege. And because I know it's a lot of work to click links and read, here's some telling points from each. Can you say this and mean it?

White Privilege

I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time.

I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented.

When I am told about our national heritage or about "civilization," I am shown that people of my color made it what it is.

I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of their race.

I do not have to educate my children to be aware of systemic racism for their own daily physical protection.

I can talk with my mouth full and not have people put this down to my color.

I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to the "person in charge", I will be facing a person of my race.

If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it had racial overtones.

I will feel welcomed and "normal" in the usual walks of public life, institutional and social.

Straight Privilege

I am not asked to think about why I am straight.

Nobody calls me straight with maliciousness.

I can be open about my sexual orientation without worrying about my job.

I can walk in public with my significant other and not have people double-take or stare.

I can choose to not think politically about my sexual orientation.

Because of my sexual orientation, I do not need to worry that people will harass me.

People don't ask why I made my choice of sexual orientation.

People don't ask why I made my choice to be public about my sexual orientation.

I do not have to fear revealing my sexual orientation to friends or family. It's assumed.

My sexual orientation was never associated with a closet.

People of my gender do not try to convince me to change my sexual orientation.

I don't have to defend my heterosexuality.

I can easily find a religious community that will not exclude me for being heterosexual.

I can be pretty sure that my roomate, hallmates and classmates will be comfortable with my sexual orientation.

If I pick up a magazine, watch TV, or play music, I can be certain my sexual orientation will be represented.

When I talk about my heterosexuality (such as in a joke or talking about my relationships), I will not be accused of pushing my sexual orientation onto others.

I do not have to fear that if my family or friends find out about my sexual orientation there will be economic, emotional, physical or psychological consequences.

I did not grow up with games that attack my sexual orientation (IE fag tag or smear the queer).

I am not accused of being abused, warped or psychologically confused because of my sexual orientation.

I can go home from most meetings, classes, and conversations without feeling excluded, fearful, attacked, isolated, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance, stereotyped or feared because of my sexual orientation.

I am never asked to speak for everyone who is heterosexual.


If you're a member of the majority and you don't bother to think about these things, think about them to the point where you actually become aware of your privilege informing everything you do, you do not get to tell any other group of people who do not share your privilege that they are being oversensitive or just need to suck it up and get on with life.